Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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