You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
