I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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