I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
