is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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