I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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