She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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