i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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