She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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