id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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