WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
