So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
