You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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