There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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