a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
