Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
