Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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