Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
