There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
