This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
