Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
