Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
