i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize