Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
