I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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