At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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