i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
