Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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