she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize