wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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