I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
