Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
