I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
