I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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