why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize