are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
