last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
