Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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