Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
