dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
they need to just BURY HIM!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
