Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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