her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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