I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Can Purell be used as lube?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
