I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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