If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize