I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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