So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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