R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
