Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
