Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Everything about him screamed your future.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
