vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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