I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
