I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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