I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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