i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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