I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
tell me about the eggs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
