I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize