Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
