My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
