WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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