it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize