Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
