I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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