So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
