Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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