Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
