This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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