Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
