the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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