Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
