Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize