that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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