so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
