i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
