Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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