it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
