There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
