hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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