turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
