i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize