; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
