it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
