I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
