sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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